RainyMay.com | Michelle Harris

Pie Friend

Today I ran into an old friend when I picked up Marissa from school. OK, it's not like I don't run into her a lot...I do! We practically live in each others back yards and our kids go to the same elementary school.
We have known each other since 5th grade (the same grade as Marissa) and  graduated from high school together (Bothell-go Cougs)!  We aren't mere acquaintances either. There were a group of about 6 of us who hung out together and were really close.

The weird thing is that even though we live so close we never schedule to see each other. We just do the bump into each other thing at the local Safeway. What happened? We went to college, got married, had kids and just kind of got too busy.

I left the school after having a great conversation with her and thought what a great friend Janelle is! I don't want to let another day pass with out a scheduled coffee date. I talked on and on to my daughter about how great it was to see her. I kept saying, "I can't believe this great friend lives so close and I don't  intentionally connect with her." Marissa laughingly says, "Gosh mom, it's like you just saw a berry pie for the first time and you're about ready to take a huge bite!" I laughed hysterically. Truth only like Marissa can say it!

Where's my phone? I can't wait another minute to dive into this pie!

Reverently Irreverent

The San Francisco Chronicle writes, "Anne Lamott is walking proof that a person can be both reverent and  irreverent in the same lifetime. Sometimes even in the same breath."

I recently stumbled upon a brilliant writer whose words made me feel watched. That is to say, I felt as if she had been hiding in my closet, viewing me through a narrow crack. The old saying that we are more alike than we are different rang true for me in the pages of Lamott's writing.

Her  style is fresh and unlike anything I've read before. She brings inspiration by the very fact that she doesn't use the common cliches heard in Christian circles. It's a language all her own yet made familiar and realized through one's own thoughts, feelings, and experiences.

I found myself laughing and crying at the same time (though, if you know me this isn't all that uncommon). Anne speaks on everything from motherhood to social and political views. Her ideas are thought provoking and she gave me a space within myself, to look at, and ask questions about views I hadn't previously considered.

Nebulizer fun!

When life gives you asthma... there's always Guitar Hero.

Not Ordinary

I sat at the stop light on Hwy 99 and 220th waiting for it to turn green and watched a man. He was not ordinary.  From my car I watched as he took calculated steps carefully walking to avoid the cracks as he walked in some kind of pattern not know to me. Perhaps it was a pattern in his head that he felt compelled to follow.

As an outsider observing and not knowing what motivated the man's behavior I was left to come to some conclusions of my own.  I wondered to myself if he was struggling with O.C.D. I don't know much about the condition except for the little bit of information I've seen on TV.  I felt compelled to pray as I watched him. I felt so sad that he was trapped in this behavior that originated from an anxiety that then led to a compulsion to perform the ritualistic steps.

Some questions entered my mind as I sat for only a couple of minutes that seemed like forever. I wondered if the man at the stoplight would even notice when his light turned green. Would the disorder stop him from getting to his destination? Did he have a destination?  At one point he stepped off the curb and I gasped. He quickly moved back onto the curb again and I sighed with relief. Would his movement lead him out in front of a car?

My light turned green and I proceeded forward but my mind was stuck back with the man on the corner, "Jesus, please deliver him of whatever it is that grips him so he can proceed safely and be free." And then it was like my brain turned a corner.

I asked myself what fears I had that kept me from moving in the direction of my dreams and goals.  Was I stuck in my head when God was saying go? Was my light green but fear had not allowed me to see it? My prayer didn't end with the man on the corner but I carried it over to myself that day.

No, the man was not ordinary. God used this man to speak to me as I waited at the red light hoping I would notice when it turned green.

Happy 11th Birthday Marissa!

Today is my darling daughter, Marissa's 11th birthday. Wow! My little girl is growing up!

I can remember 11 as if it were yesterday. I was in Mrs Swick's 5th grade class. She was a great teacher. She was from Hawaii so we got to do fun things like learn a hula type dance called the Huke Laue. To this day I am a proud performer and you dare not ask me to show you because I will put on a mini performance for you on the spot (at least as much as I can remember)! Age 11 was the last really care free year for me, before turning the corner into the dreaded hormone years. I remember the 1979 fondly! (I guess I just gave away my age-ugh!)

We are going out to dinner tonight for Marissa's favorite food: Orange Chicken. That will be followed by ice-cream at Baskin Robbins.  We will return home where she will open her presents from her family. She will be surprised to receive an iPod that we convinced her was too expensive for us to get:) I love being the sneaky mom!

Happy Birthday Marissa! The world is all the richer because you are in it and I am so glad Jesus placed you in my home to love and cherish. You are my sweetie!

Party fun!

We had a great time at our house celebrating life with The Rock Church leaders! It was so fun to sing and play  Rockband (thanks Matt and Amanda!). We had good food and good fellowship (old time church word that means connecting with friends).

I look forward to next months hang out. I'm open to your ideas for favorite food for our May celebration.

The staff at The Rock definitely deserves party time each month. It may not be much but how do you say thanks to people who roll up their sleeves week after week and dive into Sundays, no matter what challenges lay ahead (I'm almost convinced there is a demon in our sound system).

There really are so many people that volunteer their time and energies, not only at our church but churches all over the country. I hope that you are as fortunate as I am to serve along such committed and fun loving people.

Over the past few years I have learned to be less impressed with the talented. I now stand in awe of the faithful! People who just show up day after day, week after week, no matter if they feel like it or not. No matter what the 'working conditions' may be. These are The Rock staffers and volunteers.

How can you mend a broken heart?

When our heart has been hurt  we do something natural...we protect it.  And then after protecting it we may even choose to hide it. We create a wall. And we find the heart doesn't seem to be feeling much better even with those severe measures.

The concept of a physical wound can apply to the heart.  A gross but applicable example: I can remember, as a kid, getting a skinned elbow and putting a band aid on it. About a week later I started smelling this odor. I couldn't figure out where this yuck was coming from. My nose lead me to my elbow! I took my band aid off. The sore was rotten-eww and no better after a weeks time.

It was not exposed to the air . It was not allowed to heal.

When our hearts have been hurt and we put our wall or band aid around it, it simply can't heal. What does putting a wall around our hearts look like? Well we have all done it.  When we have, in the past, revealed our true selves and gotten hurt for it. We "learned" to hide this part of our true self.

As life goes by we tend to have less and less close friendships. In conversations, without realizing it, we with hold parts of our self. We don't tell people when we have needs. We don't risk it. We may be encouraged by revealing ourself  but we may also be hurt by doing so.

Band aids or walls come in various forms: Alcohol, sex, drugs, food, solitude, or perhaps work...you name it. Oh did I mention good works? We can hide behind self-righteousness.

We don't want to hurt, who does? So we stay behind our created fortresses but we begin to realize the pain is still behind the wall, right beside us. It is in us, and moving through us. We haven't been able to escape. The only way for the pain to find its way out is to let it out.

Healing can happen when we will do an unveiling of that pained, fearful heart. What does creating that crack look like? It may start in trusting a piece of paper. Journals have no judgments. Finding someone trusted (a close friend or counselor) to talk to can widen that crack.

Its easy to forget how good it feels to be pain free! Its worth it!